Over the course of addiction our health goes down the drain. Our bodies are not supposed to be taking in all that shit! Long term abuse causes a lot of damage to our bodies and brains leading to negative minds. Poor health is another source of denial which becomes clear when we start practicing self honesty.
Some of us have minor or hidden mental problems that begin to expand because of substance abuse. Personally, I began to swing in and out of psychosis after adding marijuana to years of heavy drinking. These were in addition to my depression, PTSD, and sleep deprivation. I became so certain of conspiracies that my anxiety and paranoia shot through the roof.
I had zero idea that I was out of my mind because I was utterly trapped in it. I thought I was completely correct about the most ridiculous shit and that everyone else was “asleep”. My insanity ran deep for a while.
In the last few years of my drinking and using I physically began to rot too. Hangovers were normal so I would always be drinking or getting high to avoid them in the morning. Towards the end of my addictions I was dry heaving, had diarrhea, and was choking on food most mornings. Looking back, I was probably a few months away from death.
My sleep patterns were screwed as I described before and my hands were shaky at times. I really didn’t care, just drifting along in substance abuse denial. A few drinks evened me out! Becoming honest about my state only happened when I decided to give sobriety and AA a try. I had to get outside my addictions to see the damage they had done.
So, take stock of your own body and mind. How is your health compared to one, three, five, and 10 years ago? Start practicing some honesty! Are your addictions making you decline? Would it be helpful to try recovery for a few months and see where it gets you? After a little while in sobriety, I my health drastically improved. It seems like a miracle when we stop poisoning ourselves and start eating better.
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