After being in addiction for a while, my honesty muscles began to atrophy. Denial of my problem was the first lie I told myself. I believed I was OK for many years. It started a pattern that grew over the years.
Our substances begin to talk to us. They say they are our friends, they help us in some way, that we are just having fun, and all types of other bullshit. They distort our brains and minds.
As our addictions persist, our morals start to slip away too. We do things we normally wouldn’t and care less about what is right or wrong. We are only focused on continuing our addictions, whatever they are.
Does any of that sound familiar? Then you should look up and check out recovery meetings. Zoom meetings are a great place to start. There are also meetings and sobriety talks recorded on Youtube. In-person meetings are the best for connection and help, though.
Shifting Towards Truthfulness
Our first honesty is seeing our addiction(s) as having a negative impact on our lives. This is what brings us into recovery. Sometimes this is from a relationship break up, being disowned somehow, a run-in with the law, or getting sick. But it doesn’t have to be. Long term misery can show us this glimpse of truth as well.
Complete and consistent honesty is required for long term sobriety. It is the basis for many of the 12 steps. We don’t get much better without a new truthfulness. This can take years to develop, so don’t be hard on yourself! Start to recognize your dishonesty today and do opposite things compared to your past.
Honesty in Recovery Steps
Step One is an honest admittance of the depths of our addictions. It asks us to pull our heads out of denial. Are your substances destroying you through trouble, sickness, ruining relationships, and taking your money?
Step Four has us accept the truth of our fears, resentments, relationships, and other parts of our behavior. We admit our faults and see our roles in the negativities from our past. We find patterns of beliefs and behavior that have fueled our drinking and drugging.
Step Eight has us say, “yeah, I”ve been screwing over these people” and make a list of them. In step nine we face those people if possible and admit how we were wrong (with more damn honesty).
When I first joined AA, I was told this was a program of “radical honesty”. That has been a slow and tough 180 degree turn for me.
Denial and isolation were my lies by omission of how fucked up I really was inside. Admitting all my pain and suffering were the real first steps in my own sobriety and recovery. I came to see the ways I was escaping and why.
Please join us today. At least look up the free recovery literature around the web and watch a few sobriety videos on Youtube.
I choose to continue on this AA path because it has saved my life and is improving me day by day.
Life is a lot different today. I’m doing the things I always talked about doing while in addiction. I am appreciative and grateful through the day, which were alien words when I first got sober. That is my honest truth!
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