I had been given my identity by the military early in my life. I knew what my tasks were, the 20 idiots I was in charge of, who my six bosses were, and where I was living. We were surrounded by like minded people focused on similar goals. We had the camaraderie of living through shared miseries and bullshit.
When I left the military, my identity was completely stripped away. Suddenly, everything I knew disappeared. It was not something I anticipated, but is obvious in hindsight. I was totally confused, lost, lonely, anxious, angry, hateful, and a host of other negative feelings. I did what I learned while enlisted. I escaped into booze and weed. It’s a common experience with veterans.
I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do. My childhood dreams of serving didn’t include a post-military life. Maybe I assumed I would die honorably and that would be that.
My motivations for life were gone. All I knew was that I was drinking and smoking weed that day. Everything else was secondary.
My drunk identity enlarged my negative aspects I had picked up from the military. I call those the dark traits of the military ego. I have plenty to say about them in later chapters.
I felt I could never match the levels of responsibility and importance of the events that I had gone through. Civilian life just seemed dull and gray. Alcohol and weed still perked me up somewhat for a while. But, their harmful impacts quickly grew to outweigh any benefits.
Self-Study Questions – Losing Identity
Are you feeling lost after leaving the military? Why?
What would you like for a new civilian identity?
Have you researched veteran training and hiring projects?
Is there a degree you want to pursue? Research degrees, the GI Bill, grants, and local colleges now!
What should you do to grow into your civilian life? Make a quick plan now.
What hobbies do you want to try or go back to? Why haven’t you?
What jobs would most align with your personality and values? Do a quick job search.