The plan for long term recovery is simple, so don’t complicate it! We stay sober and clean one day at a time. We go to a lot of meetings throughout the week and don’t drink or use drugs in between them. We get to know the fellowship of people that share our common cause and hang out with them. We get a sponsor and go through our 12 steps with them. Then we help newer people with their steps.
As you continue in recovery, keep repeating to yourself, “I will not drink or use today no matter what”. Practice letting go of future worries and regrets of the past. Reaffirm your sobriety throughout the day. It is your new identity. Say it often to yourself, “I am a sober veteran. I am a sober person today.”
There are many sayings that bombard us early in sobriety. One that stuck with me is, “stay in the middle of the herd or you’ll get picked off.” That means we have to stay away from the people and places where we drank or did drugs. Letting those “friends” go was difficult for me. But looking back, the only things we had in common were getting jacked up and spouting bullshit. They didn’t really care about me. But, sober friends want what is best for me, which is to stay in recovery, improve my life, and grow as a person. They also help me when I ask them. (I gotta ask, though!)
Being part of a group of sober drunks reminds me that I am not alone. I join the herd and spend time with them. I do favors or small jobs for them. I help out meetings however I can because that is how recovery keeps going.
The isolation was a huge problem for me, so relating to my newly found people is something I want to practice every day. We all look different and come from various walks of life, but are united by the suffering we have caused ourselves. We are all healing together.
Repetition in sobriety is important too. That’s why I still do at least four meetings a week and read some recovery literature every day. The newer people at meetings remind me of the terrible shape I was in when I first got sober. I get the chance to welcome them and show them how to do it.
Oldtimers keep coming to meetings too. People with 30, 40, even 50 years of sobriety still go to a lot of meetings. They show us that long term sobriety is possible as long as we stick with recovery as number one in our lives. They remind us of the thousands of people they have seen leave the fellowship, go back to their substances, and die miserable.
Another part of the sober plan is asking someone to be your sponsor, which can be tough. A sponsor is a mentor in recovery. It’s somebody with at least a few years of sober time that has gone through the steps themselves. They help newer people through the steps and give advice, listen to their problems, and have regular meetups with them.
Sponsors, our fellows, and even therapists are vital to veterans newly getting sober. Many of the feelings, memories, and thoughts that we have suppressed with our substances will come bubbling to the surface. It can be an overwhelming and dangerous time. That’s why we need to talk it out and lean on people. We no longer need to keep secrets for fear of being judged because we are all in sobriety together.
Writing has also been a huge part of my growth in recovery. I wrote a lot for my first set of steps. Getting my selfishness, secrets, fears, angers, and resentments out on paper gave them less power over me. They were no longer festering in my mind, driving me to escape through alcohol and weed. I was able to review my issues one by one and analyze them. I continue to dig even deeper as I write this book.
I will say it again. Recovery is about self discovery and letting go of the things we carried around! That is how we change for the better and not die a miserable death. The plan is to stick to today.
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